The Glow-Up That Happens When You Stop Chasing Men

If you want a clean next step, read Career Advice for Women: Building a Career on Your Terms.

The glow-up isn’t about getting him back.

It’s about getting you back.

What “chasing” actually looks like

You’re chasing when you:

• Text first, always.
• Make yourself available at the drop of a hat.
• Change your plans to fit his schedule.
• Wait for him to define what you are.
• Overthink every interaction, every text, every silence.
• Make him the main character of your life story.

You’re not dating him.

You’re auditioning for him.

What happens when you stop

Week 1: The panic

Your brain will scream:

• “What if he forgets about me?”
• “What if he moves on?”
• “What if I’m being too difficult?”

This is withdrawal.

You’re detoxing from the dopamine hit of his attention.

Week 2-4: The space

Suddenly you have:

• Time you used to spend waiting for texts.
• Energy you used to spend analyzing his behavior.
• Mental real estate you used to spend on him.

You don’t know what to do with it yet.

That’s the point.

Month 2-3: The shift

You start:

• Remembering who you were before him.
• Rediscovering hobbies you dropped.
• Building routines that don’t revolve around his schedule.
• Making decisions based on what you want, not what might make him want you.

Month 4+: The glow-up

This is when people notice.

Not because you got a new haircut.

Because:

• You’re present in conversations instead of checking your phone.
• You’re making plans with friends instead of keeping your schedule open.
• You’re investing in yourself instead of trying to be what he wants.
• You’re confident because you’re building a life you actually like.

The practical steps

1. Delete his number (or at least mute it)

You don’t need to block him forever.

But you need space to remember who you are without his input.

2. Fill your calendar

• One solo activity per week.
• One friend date per week.
• One personal project you’re working on.

Your schedule should be full of things that matter to you.

3. Stop checking

• His social media.
• Your phone for his texts.
• Your messages to see if he’s online.

You’re not playing games.

You’re just living your life.

4. Invest in yourself

• Skincare routine you actually do.
• Workouts that make you feel strong.
• Books, courses, hobbies that expand you.
• Therapy if you need to unpack why you chase.

The glow-up is the side effect of building a life you don’t want to escape from.

Products I’d Actually Use For This

• Self-Care Subscription Box – Monthly reminders to invest in yourself, delivered to your door.
  Helps you build the habit of treating yourself well without waiting for someone else to do it.

• Gym Membership Tracker – Track your workouts and see your progress over time.
  Physical strength builds mental strength. When you see what your body can do, you remember what you’re capable of.

The glow-up isn’t revenge.

It’s reclamation.

You’re not trying to make him want you.

You’re trying to make you want you.

---