Level-Up Lifestyle: What I Stopped Doing in My 30s
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Your 30s are for letting go of what’s not working.
Here’s what I stopped doing—and why it changed everything.
1. I stopped trying to be the “cool girl”
In my 20s, I:
- Pretended I didn’t care.
- Acted like nothing bothered me.
- Made myself smaller to fit.
- Performed nonchalance.
In my 30s, I:
- Care about things that matter to me.
- Express when something bothers me.
- Take up the space I need.
- Am authentically myself.
Being “cool” is exhausting.
Being yourself is freeing.
2. I stopped keeping people who drain me
In my 20s, I:
- Kept friendships out of obligation.
- Tried to fix people who didn’t want to be fixed.
- Gave endless chances to people who didn’t deserve them.
- Thought I was being a good friend by tolerating everything.
In my 30s, I:
- Keep friendships that add to my life.
- Accept people as they are or move on.
- Set boundaries with people who drain me.
- Know that being a good friend doesn’t mean being a doormat.
Your energy is your most valuable asset.
Protect it.
3. I stopped saying yes to things I don’t want to do
In my 20s, I:
- Said yes to avoid conflict.
- Went to events I didn’t want to attend.
- Kept plans I didn’t want to keep.
- Thought saying no was mean.
In my 30s, I:
- Say no without guilt.
- Decline invitations that don’t serve me.
- Cancel plans when I need to.
- Know that saying no is self-respect, not meanness.
Your time is non-refundable.
Spend it on things that matter to you.
4. I stopped trying to prove my worth
In my 20s, I:
- Over-explained my choices.
- Justified my boundaries.
- Tried to make people understand my worth.
- Performed confidence instead of feeling it.
In my 30s, I:
- Make decisions without explaining.
- Set boundaries without justifying.
- Know my worth without proving it.
- Am confident because I’ve built evidence of my value.
Your worth isn’t up for debate.
You don’t need to prove it to anyone.
5. I stopped waiting for permission
In my 20s, I:
- Asked “Is this okay?”
- Waited for validation.
- Needed approval for my choices.
- Second-guessed everything.
In my 30s, I:
- Make decisions and inform people.
- Trust my judgment.
- Know what works for me.
- Move forward without committee approval.
You don’t need permission to live your life.
6. I stopped performing my life
In my 20s, I:
- Posted everything on social media.
- Made my life look perfect.
- Performed happiness.
- Curated my image.
In my 30s, I:
- Live my life for me, not for content.
- Let my life be messy sometimes.
- Feel my feelings authentically.
- Am who I am, not who I think I should be.
Your life is for living, not for performing.
7. I stopped trying to fix people
In my 20s, I:
- Thought I could change people.
- Tried to help people who didn’t want help.
- Gave advice that wasn’t asked for.
- Thought love meant fixing.
In my 30s, I:
- Accept people as they are.
- Only help people who want help.
- Keep my advice to myself unless asked.
- Know that love means accepting, not fixing.
You can’t fix anyone.
You can only work on yourself.
8. I stopped apologizing for my needs
In my 20s, I:
- Apologized for needing space.
- Felt guilty for setting boundaries.
- Justified my self-care.
- Made myself small to avoid being “too much.”
In my 30s, I:
- Take space without apologizing.
- Set boundaries without guilt.
- Prioritize self-care without justifying.
- Take up the space I need.
Your needs are valid.
You don’t need to apologize for them.
9. I stopped comparing my journey
In my 20s, I:
- Compared my timeline to everyone else’s.
- Felt behind when friends got married.
- Felt ahead when friends were still figuring it out.
- Measured my success against others.
In my 30s, I:
- Know my timeline is mine alone.
- Celebrate others without comparing.
- Focus on my own progress.
- Measure success by my own standards.
Your journey is yours.
Comparison is the thief of joy.
10. I stopped waiting for my life to start
In my 20s, I:
- Waited for the right relationship.
- Waited for the right job.
- Waited for the right time.
- Put my life on hold waiting for things to be perfect.
In my 30s, I:
- Live my life now.
- Build what I want now.
- Create the life I want now.
- Don’t wait for permission or perfect timing.
Your life is happening now.
Don’t wait for it to start.
The result
When I stopped doing these things, I:
- Had more energy.
- Had better relationships.
- Had more peace.
- Had a life I actually wanted to live.
Life Audit Workbook – Identify what you need to stop doing to level up your life.
Sometimes growth is about letting go, not adding more.
Quality Time Tracker – See where your time actually goes, and decide if that’s where you want it to go.
Awareness is the first step to change.
Your 30s are for letting go of what’s not working.
Stop doing the things that drain you.
Start doing the things that fill you.
That’s the level-up.